Cat and Dog
by BuzzCat
Summary: The world is peaceful. Too peaceful... Warning: Involves antagonizing Minnie!


Minerva sat in her cat form on the veranda, contentedly watching the sunset. She sighed, settling her fur as she curled up. It was such a peaceful night. Albus was finishing up some confidential paperwork for the Ministry, and though Minerva loved him dearly, she still valued the peace these nights brought. It was very tranquil, and if Minerva's mind had been more alert, she would have realized that the quiet was too valuable to last.

Suddenly, a big black dog came running around the corner of Hogwarts. It barked as it ran madly toward her. Minerva hissed and bolted under the porch stairs. The dog chased her, digging at the ground in its attempts to get her. Minerva crouched as far away from it as she could get, hoping that it wouldn't chase her. When its paws were barely an inch from Minerva, she streaked out the other side of steps. Minerva raced out and up the stairs into Hogwarts, making a mad dash to reach the Headmaster's quarters. The dog followed her, nipping at her heels. He probably would have caught her if it weren't for the slick waxed floors and Minerva's innate sense of balance. She raced up the stairs ahead of him, and thanked whoever had left the Headmaster's door open to the revolving staircase. Round and round they raced until Minerva burst through the door to his study. Albus sitting on a couch reading, and was surprised to see Minerva streak through his door and straight into his lap, knocking the book out of his hands. She burrowed into his beard, praying that the dog wouldn't notice her.

The dog burst through the door, and it saw Minerva's nose sticking out from the Headmaster's beard. The dog started doing a strange version of barking, like it was laughing. It leapt up onto another of the chairs, transforming back into Sirius Black. Minerva peaked out from Albus's beard, and was alarmed and infuriated to see Sirius Black sitting there, laughing like there was no tomorrow. She leapt out onto the seat beside Albus and turned back to her human self. Minerva pushed an escapee curl out of her face and said in a huff,

"That wasn't funny." Sirius continued with his bark-like laughter and said,

"Bloody Hell! That was freaking AMAZING!" He fell back in the chair, his shoulders heaving from his laughter. Minerva frowned her disapproval and with a small flick of her wand, Sirius was replaced by a cat toy. Minerva grinned as she once again became a cat, and started playing with her new toy. Once she had dragged it around and bit it multiple times, she went back to being a human and returned Sirius to his normal shape. He was covered in light scratches. Minerva allowed herself a small grin that disappeared as soon as Sirius had the stupidity to say,

"I thought you only liked to play with Albus. Besides, I swear that you gave me a blow job. Of course, since your Albus is in the room, we'll pretend that was totally accidental. Before Minerva could do more than blush, there was a loud _bang! _Sirius was lying on the ground, the armchair tipped on its side. Albus was standing on his feet, his wand smoking slightly. He said in a jovial and yet semi-threatening tone,

"Sirius Black. I like you, but if you ever do that again, I will not be held responsible for my actions." Sirius still grinned and said,

"Jealous much, Dumbles?" He laughed in a way reminiscent of his days in Azkaban, and he raced down the stairs to his classroom. Minerva leaned against her husband and said,

"Albus, why on this Earth did you ever hire him for Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Albus shrugged and said,

"I thought it would be good to have a co-conspirator when irritating you. There's only one of you and two of us. One can always get away with something." Minerva playfully slapped his arm and kissed him. She said,

"You do realize this means war?" Albus nodded, and without warning, took a pillow and slammed it into the back of Minerva's head. She stared at him in shock, before taking another pillow and smashing it into his nose. She pulled it away, and some blood on the pillow and Albus's face. Albus held a hand to his face and said,

"Minerva, have you been taking lessons from Aberforth?" He pulled his hand away to reveal a grossly disfigured nose. Minerva frowned and with a quick wave of her wand his nose was badly fixed and with another wave, the blood was gone. Minerva smiled apologetically and kissed him. He kissed her back, and all was well again in the world of MMADness.


End file.
